


My Funny Friend and Me

by RoamingTigress



Category: DarkWing Duck - Fandom
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoamingTigress/pseuds/RoamingTigress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Chapter One:</b><br/>Double Planning</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Double Planning

**Author's Note:**

> **Chapter One:**  
> Double Planning

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter One:**  
Double Planning

It was a muggy night in June when High Command ordered Steelbeak to obtain a rare species of native orchid from St. Canard Zoological Park. In the agent's eyes, it sounded like a ridiculously simple and pointless mission. For High Command, however, the plant was invaluable. Only forty known specimens were in existence, four of them being held at the zoo for conservation purposes.

Steelbeak grinned broadly as he looked up at the large screen were three ominous figures stared down at him. These were the shadow of High Command, the rulers of the Fiendish Organization for World Larceny. Quite normally reporting to High Command made Steelbeak nervous, but this time he was amused by them. To him, a plant was a plant, regardless of how rare it was.

"Boys, boys...De next t'ing you'll want me to do is to steal a coupla roses from de market!" The burly, handsome rooster laughed. "Or de dandelions from de school yard! I mean, dis is Bushroot stuff!"

"The orchids will fetch a high price on the black market!" The middle shadow hissed, not pleased by Steelbeak's sarcastic attitude. "I trust you will be successful. The zoo has the lousiest security guards in the city. If you can't complete this mission - "

"I'll do it!" Steelbeak nervously interrupted, not wanting to know what would happen if he didn't succeed. "Jus' lemme take an Allegra and I'll be right out dere and on de job!"

"Good luck, Agent Steelbeak!" The figure on the left side spoke. "You'll need it!"

"No problemo, guys!" Steelbeak replied cheerfully as he sauntered down the hallway.

"Is this the best agent we have?" Questioned the shadow on the right, doubting Steelbeak's "greatness" for the organization.

"Yes," sighed the middle shadow. "Unfortunately."

"Oh my little babies, I just know you'll love it here!" Bushroot said to himself, clearing away debris from a bench. He was preparing his greenhouse for the orchids that he planned on stealing from the zoo, not knowing of Steelbeak's plans. However, unlike the F.O.W.L agent, Bushroot wasn't planning on making money off of them. All he wanted to do was to liberate them from their confinement. "That zoo is so terrible, Spike. Those poor plants, never mind the animals!"

Under the bench was Spike, the plant/duck hybrid's faithful companion. He was curled up and fast asleep without a care in the world until a clay pot fell from the bench and onto his head. Startled, Spike awoke with a snarl and prepared to attack whoever dared to disturb his rest.

"Take it easy, Spike. Look, I'm sorry..." Bushroot apologized fretfully, reaching down and patting the oversized venus fly trap on the head. "Well, off to the zoo I go, Spike. Daddy's going to bring home a couple of friends for you!"

Spike licked his leafy hand, accepting the apology. He jumped around at the mention of going to the zoo, desperately wanting to tag along with his master on this trip.

"I'm sorry I can't take you, old pal," Bushroot sighed, giving his friend a last pat on the head. "You gotta stay and guard the greenhouse."

After a quick check on his plant collection, Bushroot was all set and ready to go. He cautiously slunk out of the door, half-expecting Darkwing Duck or a rival villain to ambush him. When the coast was clear, he quickly scrambled across the field and towards the park were the zoo was located. The sooner he would get there, the better.

Unfortunate for Bushroot, Steelbeak got to the zoo before he did.

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned are © Disney.  



	2. Love Not at First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Two:**  
> Love Not at First Sight

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Two:**  
Love Not at First Sight

"Just what is he up to?" Bushroot gasped, spotting Steelbeak scramble over the wrought iron fence that separated the zoo from the main park. He was surprised by the rooster's agility, but what was more surprising was the fact that he was here. After all, the zoo wasn't exactly the Ritz. It was a weathered, Victorian-style zoo that still kept it's animal collection behind bars. Perhaps he was stealing the zoo's koalas to sell to the exotic pet trade. Perhaps he was just taking a shortcut home. Whatever the reason, Bushroot wanted to know.

With some hesitation, Bushroot made a mad dash over to the fence and slunk behind the admission booth. From there, he clambered onto the roof to take a better look of what Steelbeak was doing.

"What are you doing?" Bushroot yelled, seeing Steelbeak approach the plant pavilion. It was more or less just an ordinary shed with a few windows and a leaking tin roof.

Steelbeak spun around and recognized the voice as that belonging to Bushroot. "Eh, just you," he shrugged indifferently. "What are ya here for, any ways?"

"That's what I want to know!" Bushroot demanded, jumping down from the fence. He marched up to Steelbeak like a little drill sergeant and tried as hard as he could to look threatening. It didn't work, and he cowered at the agent's angry glare.

"Takin' a walk through de zoo! What does it look like? Steelbeak snapped. "Look, I'm doin' my job, and yer in my way so MOVE IT, Petuniabrain!"

"Y-Yes sir!" Bushroot yelped, jumping away from Steelbeak. He scowled as the agent once again tried to get into the pavilion, but he dared not to interfere this time. As far as he was concerned, Steelbeak was every bit as threatening as Negaduck, maybe even more so.

With one quick snap of his jaws to the padlock, Steelbeak broke into the pavilion. He quietly stepped in and paid no attention to the fact that Bushroot was right behind him. The moment he laid his hand on the pot of orchids, Bushroot jumped atop of his back.

"Not so fast, Steelbeak! They're mine!" Bushroot snarled, wrestling the pot away from Steelbeak's hands.

"Oh really?" Steelbeak replied snidely, reaching from behind and snatching Bushroot by the tail. "Not anymore!"

Bushroot yelped, dropping the pot. "Oh no!"

"Now look at what ya did!" Steelbeak snarled, kick-dropping him out of the pavilion. "If youse just learned ta stay outta my feathers dat wouldn't 'ave 'append!"

"I'm sorry..." Bushroot whimpered. "I-I only wanted them to have freedom...Forgive me!"

"Youse don't know de meaning of freedom!" Steelbeak roared, slamming Bushroot to the ground the moment he got up. "Fer twenny years de organization I always woiked fer promised me freedom. I never got it! Day after day, dey're always ordering me to do dis and dat, but ya know what? I would've better off been in jail fer all dose years!"

"I know how you feel," Bushroot sighed. "It's like working with Negaduck."

"Only ten times woise!" Steelbeak growled, getting up off of Bushroot. He went back into the pavilion to collecting the other orchids and left in a fury. "Now get outta my way or I'll make a salad outta youse..."

Bushroot defiantly stood in his way. "No. Not until you free my friends!"

"Don't meddle wit' me, Reggie, I'm not in de mood," warned Steelbeak, shoving Bushroot out of the way. "I've gotta take dese back to 'Igh Command so dey can send 'em out ta be sold."

Bushroot got in Steelbeak's way again and was once again harshly pushed away. "You don't have to, you know. I got some nice imitation Brazilian Orchids!" Bushroot pleaded. "I'm sure High Command will understand. They need our protection!"

"I gotta, Reggie..." Steelbeak sighed, growing weary of Bushroot's incessant begging. "I've gotta do dis. If I don't, dey'll kill me, or fire me. Dis is de last chance dat I've got. Whatever dey choose, one is not woise den de ot'ers. Dere's no easy way wit' 'Igh Command." He knew Bushroot probably didn't understand the concept of F.O.W.L's policies regarding repeatedly failed missions, but it was worth a shot anyways.

Bushroot's heart sank at the mention of death. While he wanted to give the orchids a better life, he placed the life of another villain above the welfare of his beloved plants. "Alright," Bushroot sighed. "You can take them."

"T'anks..." Steelbeak muttered.

His eyes met with his as Bushroot handed over the orchids. For a moment, Steelbeak smiled, but quickly scowled once again.

"Need any help, Steelbeak?" Bushroot asked amicably, not wanting to push Steelbeak's anger any further.

"Er, no..." Steelbeak muttered, just wanting to get the hell back to F.O.W.L's headquarters. He walked off quickly, with the third pot threatening to fall and smash to the ground. In his rush, he failed to notice this.

"Alright, suit yourself..." Bushroot sighed. "I only wanted to help a fellow villain and my fellow plants..."

As fate would have it, that pot did fall.

"WAIT!" Bushroot yelled, rushing over to the hurried Steelbeak. Before it could fall to the ground, Bushroot pounced and grabbed it before it made contact with the pavement. "Oh thank heavens you're okay!" He sighed with relief, giving the plant a kiss before sheepishly handing it back to Steelbeak.

"Uh, I suppose this is yours!"

Steelbeak looked down at Bushroot with a confused expression. In a way, he rather felt sorry for the plant-duck hybrid. He gently took ahold of the pot and looked down at Bushroot with a warm smile.

"Alright, youse can help me."

They made eye contact with each other, and this time, Steelbeak didn't look away. He looked deep into Bushroot's blue eyes and winked. "I t'ink we kin compromise 'ere."

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned are © Disney.  



	3. On Easy Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Three:**  
> On Easy Terms

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Three:**  
On Easy Terms

It has been two weeks since Steelbeak had completed the mission. For a reward, High Command gave the Cheif Agent a vacation leave; the first time in nearly twenty years. It was a gift from heaven, even if it did last a mere three weeks.

"Egh...All dese places are packed wit' tourists..." Steelbeak muttered to himself, skimming through a glossy vacation guide in his small, upscale apartment. Stretched out on his red leather easy chair and sipping a glass of sherry, it appeared that he didn't have a care in the world. "Fer dis price I could go on vacation fer de rest of de life!" He chuckled, reading a advertisement for a ridiculously overpriced motel in Jamaica. Steelbeak may be rich, but he was careful of how he used his money. He spent a little more time looking through the guide before he placed it down on the coffee table.

A knock on the door disturbed the well-to-do agent's moment of peace. "What is it now?" He snarled, scrambling to the door. "If it's dat damn eggman who keeps knockin' on my door and running I'm gonna rip 'is fucking head off!"

It was Bushroot, timidly poking his head from behind the corner of the hallway and half expecting Steelbeak to tear him to shreds. _Please don't kill me, Steelbeak. I'm too young to die!_

"I...Hope I didn't disturb you, Mr. Steelbeak. I just gotta tell ya something..."

"What is it?" Steelbeak asked, raising an eyebrow. "And how did ya find out were I lived? I mean I don't advertise my pad as being Steelbeak's Place!"

"It's something that I think is really important to the both of us!" Bushroot whispered, motioning his leafy hands to keep his voice down. "I can't talk about it in the hallway. It's a little something between you and me."

Steelbeak suavely escorted Bushroot into his apartment, his anger gone and replaced with a certain flirtative friendlyness. "Now, Reginald Bushroot...What is it dat ya gotta tell me?"

Bushroot took immediate notice of the way Steelbeak allowed him in. _I can't believe it. He's treating me like I'm one of his girls. Does he actually have feelings for me, or is he just being suave? I'll go with the latter._

"I...Came out of the closet," Bushroot hesitantly replied, looking down at his feet. "I know you don't really wanna know...Or care about me."

Steelbeak was unsure of how he could react to this. _What can I say? What should I tell him? I've got some t'ings to say to him of dis nature, but I just can't put it in woids. Only in feelings. _"Actually, I do care..." He finally spoke up. "Youse see, Reginald, it might come as a surprise to youse, but I'm bisexual."

Bushroot was speechless. He had long since associated Steelbeak as a strictly lady's man. _Surely he can't be serious! He said it like he meant it, but it's just so...Surreal._

"Yes, Bushie, I fancy de gentlemen sometimes just as much as I fancy de goils!" Steelbeak grinned with a playful twinkle in his eyes. "I really only 'ad one relationship wit' anot'er guy. Jack from de Polo Club. Dat was about eight years ago, and when he moved away, we sorta just broke contact. I've tried to get in touch wit' 'im, but I gave up after a little while."

Bushroot gingerly reached his hand out and touched Steelbeak on the shoulder. "I'm...Sorry..."

"No need ta be," Steelbeak whispered, giving Bushroot's hand a gentle pat . "I learnt from F.O.W.L dat youse are supposed to focus on yer future, not yer past."

There was a certain sadness in Steelbeak's eyes that he tried to hide from his newfound friend. It was too late; Bushroot saw it. He felt deeply sorry for Bushroot and the cruelty and misunderstand-ment that he underwent. _Poor guy. All he needs is a friend. I wish I could be dat friend, maybe even more den a friend, but I dunno...I just don't t'ink dat it would woik out. I'm not 'is type. I can really relate to 'im. De abuse, de misunderstandment, de persecution..._

"Steelbeak?" Bushroot asked shyly.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think we can be friends?"

It didn't take too long for Steelbeak to answer this question.

"Yes. "

* * *

  
Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned are © Disney.  



	4. First Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Four:**  
> The First Kiss

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Four:**  
The First Kiss

It was getting late at night and Bushroot knew he had to set back to his greenhouse to check on his beloved botanical collection and to go to bed. Yet, he wasn't ready to say goodnight to Steelbeak yet, but at the same time, he didn't want to overstay his visit. _So many questions, so many things to say. So many conflicting feelings. I could save it for the next day, or the day after, but I want to know **now**. I wish I wasn't so impatient!_

Steelbeak was comfortably, and somewhat seductfully, stretched out on his couch, taking another look through his vacation guide and not paying attention to the fact that it was getting close to midnight. "I'm plannin' on takin' a vacation somewhere. A secluded, quiet sorta place. Got any ideas, Reggie?"

Bushroot took a quick glance at Steelbeak's relaxed form and couldn't help to notice how attractive he really was.He stripped him with his eyes and whistled inwardly. _Wow. _ _No wonder all the girls go crazy over for him! He's...Cute!_

"I've head Bali's pretty nice at this time of the year. Not too many people from what I understand...Nice plants, too!"

"Eh, I prefer places dat I don't need ta get shots for. I'm not big on sweltering climates, either. De sun reflects on dis beak and even wit' sunglasses it gives me a 'eadache. I'd go to Italy and France, but I jus' came back dere. Plus it's tourist season over dere. Crazy!"

"Well, then...How about Canada? British Columbia's supposed to be really nice."

Steelbeak remembered the time High Command sent him out on a mission to Vancouver Island. It was on of his most successful missions, but he also recalled getting a slew of black fly bites. _Hmmm...Nah. Maybe I'll just go to ToonTown and chill out dere for a while. Or I could jus' stay 'ere and relax, maybe get to know Bushroot a little more. He seems pretty sweet, a little shy, but sweet._

"Eh...Canada's kinda boring. I could go to Toon Town or stay 'ere and take it easy."

"Toon Town's far from secluded and quiet!" Bushroot laughed.

"Hmm...In dat case, I'll stay put. Dere's a lotta t'ings I could do around 'ere. I could go out and get myself a well-desoived massage, hang out by de pool, maybe even go yachting!"

_ Ya gotta tell 'im, old Steelbeak ol' boy._ _I know yer a little scared, but so is Bushie. Just take it slowly, fella._ With a certain degree of shyness, Steelbeak decided to let the cat out of the bag.

"Youse see, Bushroot, I dunno 'ow to say dis, but...I wanna be _more_ den jus' friends wit' youse!"

_ More than just friends. _ This is what Bushroot wanted to hear. Deep down inside, he was delighted and taken aback at the same time.

"I...I don't know what to say," he stammered, placing a hand over his heart. "I mean..."

"Dere's no need ta say anyt'ing," Steelbeak smiled, motioning Bushroot to sit down next to him. "We 'ave much to talk about."

_ There's nothing to be afraid of, Reggie. Well, not at the moment, anyways. Just go sit with him. _He wanted to sit down next to Steelbeak, and maybe give him a cuddle, but once again, it was his timidity that held him back. _ I wish I wasn't such a wuss! I_

"I...I feel the same way, Steelbeak...About you..."

"Dat's alright, little buddy. C'mere, sit down!" Steelbeak coaxed, patting the cushion next to him. "I don't bite too much!"

Bushroot slunk over and sat down next to him as close as possible. "So...All along...Y-You were wooing me?"

Steelbeak placed an arm around Bushroot's shoulder and gave him a gentle hug. "Oooooh maybe. Maybe not."

"Glad to hear it," Bushroot cooed, resting his head against Steelbeak's masculine, barrel-shaped chest. He was soothed by the rhythmic beating of the rooster's heart and the ever so soft purr as he stroked his soft feathers. _ This is nice._

"I got a little surprise for youse!" Steelbeak suddenly beamed, jumping up off the couch and running to his bedroom.

_What's up with him!_

Bushroot's heart jumped._ Surprise? First of all he was flirting with me, and now he surely wants to kill me! I gotta get out of here! _ He quietly headed out to the door, but it was too late. Steelbeak had spotted him. _Okay, Bushroot, settle down. If he tries anything funny, turn your arms into vines and strangle him. Stand your ground!_

"Leaving so soon?" Steelbeak asked with disappointment, hiding something behind his back. _Did I scare 'im? I 'ope not._

Bushroot's sudden bravery shrunk back into cowardice. _Oh no. I made him mad. _ _Think up something to say, Reggie! Quickly! _ "Uuuuh...Well, yeah. It's getting pretty late and, well - I don't wanna overstay my welcome! Plus I gotta check to see how my plants are doing..."

Steelbeak sighed. _Plants mean de whole woild to 'im. Dey're practically de only ones dat care about 'im, as sad as it sounds. I mean, de Fearsome Five ain't exactly a family._

"Aw, Bushie. Why don'tcha stay over fer de night?"

"Because I can't..."

_Awww...Bushie...Please, stay. Just fer one night._

"Dese are for youse," Steelbeak grinned broadly, holding out a pot of flowers to Bushroot. They were the orchids that were stolen from the zoo. "I managed ta save one for ya. I figured dat 'Igh Command wouldn't notice a missin' flower _too _much. Dis is de one I nearly dropped!"

Bushroot was so happy he cried and hugged Steelbeak tightly around the waist. "Oh, thank you, Steelbeak! Thank you very much! You didn't have to!"

_Yes, I did, Bushroot. _ Steelbeak swooned slightly, giving him a tight hug in return. _Man I love being hugged dere. Just a little lower would be poifect, ehehe. _ "Not a prob, babe. T'ink of it as a sort of favor fer a friend!" He sat the plant down on the coffee table and adjusted his robe cuffs.

_Babe...He called me babe! No one's ever called me that before._

"I've reconsidered my decision, Steelbeak. I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay over for the night, considering that it's one in the morning," he chuckled half-heartedly. "If...That's alright with you."

_Good decision, Reggie. Good decision!_

"Sure it's alright wit' me!" Steelbeak grinned broadly, chumly placing an arm around Bushroot's shoulder as he led him towards the bedroom. "Now, ya can sleep in de bedroom or on de couch. I gotta tell ya, de bed's a bit more comfortable!" He added with a wink.

_Man he's suave! _ "Uuuh...No need to give up your bed for me. I'll just curl up in a corner somewhere. I'm pretty used to it."

"Youse sure 'bout dat?" The twinkle in Steelbeak's eyes returned - and Bushroot saw it.

"Yeah. No need to go to extra lengths just for little ol' me," Bushroot replied modestly, curling up on the couch and making himself comfy. "I'll do fine just here."

"Fine den, be dat way!" Steelbeak said in jest, looking down at Bushroot from behind the couch. "Want a blanket or anyt'ing?"

"No, no..." He muttered, trying to get to sleep. "I'll be OK!"

"What about a goodnight kiss?"

Bushroot's eyes widened in surprise. _He wants to kiss ME? Oh well. It's only a kiss, Reggie. No big deal!_

"Alright, but be careful with that beak!"

"Not ta worry, Bushie. I'll be gentle..." He whispered, reaching over and giving Bushroot a kiss on the top of his bill. "See? Not so bad!"

_ Nice! _ _Not quite what I expected from someone of his calibre. Oh, stop analyzing him, Reginald. It was "just" a goodnight kiss! _He sat up and gave Steelbeak a little kiss on the chin. "No, not bad at all, Steelie. A little metalic, but not bad!"

"Yer too cute, Reggie!" Steelbeak chuckled.

_Same to you!_

"Welp, I t'ink it's time dat dis big, bad rooster gets ta bed!" Steelbeak yawned. "Let's say we 'ave a real villain ta villain conversation sometime tomorrow. I wanted ta 'ave one tonight, but I kept gettin' sidetracked."

"Sounds fine with me..." Bushroot mummered softly, finally drifting off to sleep.

Steelbeak looked over his shoulder just as he walked into his bedroom. "Goodnight, Reginald...I love ya."  


* * *

  
Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned are © Disney.  



	5. One in a Million

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Chapter Five:**  
> One in A Million

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

** Chapter Five:**  
One in A Million

Sometime during the night, the plant-duck changed his mind about where he wanted to sleep. He quietly tiptoed into Steelbeak's bedroom and sat at the edge of the rooster's bed. _Awww . . . He looks so peaceful. I really don't want to disturb him . . ._

He indeed did look peaceful. Wanting to keep it that way, the plant-duck carefully slipped down beside him. Luckily for him, Steelbeak was too deep in his sleep to notice this. He was still fast asleep on his back, looking sweet and innocent as he possibly could. Bushroot nestled his head on Steelbeak's stomach like a pillow and dozed off to sleep.

Bushroot woke up to Steelbeak patting him on the shoulder. He was startled, but soon calmed down. "Oh, um . . . Good morning!"

_I see ya blushin', Bushie. No need ta be shy wit' de Steelbeak._ "Tell me, Reggie. What made youse change yer mind?"

_He caught me off guard!_

"I . . . Just thought . . . You needed some company!" Bushroot stammered, not really knowing what to say. "I hope I didn't want to disturb your sleep in any way!"

"Distoib my sleep?" Steelbeak laughed, resting his hands on Bushroot's head and gently massaged his scalp. "It takes a bit more den cuddlin' up ta me to wake me up! As fer givin' me company . . . T'anks."

_Just thanks?_ "You're welcome . . . "

Bushroot sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. "How about we have our villain-to-villain talk in the greenhouse?"

"Good location as any I suppose," Steelbeak shrugged. "Better den 'ere, anyway. I 'ate ta tell ya, but dere's hidden cameras and microphones in dis room. Ya see, F.O.W.L. gives their agents a lot of money, but dey sure don't give 'em privacy."

After a simple breakfast of cereal and orange juice, the two villains were all ready to go to their meeting place. Steelbeak drove Bushroot out into the countryside in his Jaguar, and wisely parked it half a mile away from the greenhouse. He did not wish to take the chance that a spy would report to High Command about the top agent working alongside a rival villain.

The moment Bushroot stepped into the greenhouse, he was greeted by an overwhelmingly happy Spike who knocked him down to the ground in exuberance.

"Hey, Spikey!" Bushroot grinned, patting him on the head. "Daddy brought a special friend home! Meet Steelbeak!"

Spike took immediate disliking to the stranger. He growled and backed him into a corner until Bushroot stepped in his way. The last thing he wanted was to have his jealous pet get in the way of the relationship.

"Take it easy, Spike, I know you don't like strangers, but Steelbeak is someone who won't hurt me! He's just a friend!" Bushroot spoke gently, watching the Venus fly trap hop off to hide underneath a table, leaving his master alone with the "intruder".

"Now I've seen ev'ry'ting!" Remarked Steelbeak, sitting into a wicker chair next to Bushroot. He slouched slightly and gave out an exasperated sigh, propping his head in his hands. "I suppose dis is a good time as any ta tell youse about what 'append all dose years ago?"

Bushroot got up and wrapped his arms around Steelbeak's massive shoulders. "Only if you feel you are up to it. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I know how it feels when you want to tell someone about something that's not easily put into words."

"Very well, if youse insist . . . " Steelbeak whispered, sitting up in his chair. "Lemme get dis straight, Bushroot. I was never dis 'andsome. I was despised from birth, partly because I was an unplanned birth, but also because I was a 'orrid little scrawny creature, wit' a really nasty underbite and cleft lip ta boot. I was always ill, my mom never cared about my welfare, and my dad walked out on de family before I could learn 'ow ta speak. I was often abused, and because of dis I became belligerent and timid. In school, I was always picked on. Ya see, it was only until F.O.W.L stepped in dat I became a somebody."

Bushroot clung onto every word, his eyes misted over. I thought I had it pretty badly. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

"No, Bushroot, I must . . . " Steelbeak sighed. "In my youth, a few buddies and I stole cars fer fun. One day, when I was eighteen, I lost control of one of dose cars when it skidded across a sheet of ice. I ended up killin' two people before I crashed, and to dis day I'll never forgive myself fer dat. Neither can anyone else. Killin' dose people cause me more pain den what 'append to my beak. It was beyond reconstruction, despite de effort made by de doctors at de 'ospital. Dat's when F.O.W.L stepped in. If it weren't fer dem, I'd be dead."

Bushroot finally broke down and cried, giving Steelbeak a tight hug. "I'm so sorry!"

"Shhhh . . . Dere's no need ta be," Steelbeak murmured, gently rubbing his back and beginning to tear up himself. "So ya see, Bushroot, beyond ev'ry face , beyond ev'ry mask - - dere lies a story dat needs ta told one way or de ot'er."

Bushroot's tears soaked into Steelbeak's suit as he curled up on his lap. "If you insist, I'll tell you my story. I was humble scientist just wanting to make life more fulfilling for people. For a while, everything was doing fine. I figured that if plants could get energy from water and sun, then so could people. Things backfired, my funding was cut off, and I became a victim of my own experimentations."

Steelbeak knew there was more to Bushroot's story than what he had just heard. _Eh, I won't ask. He's 'ad enough fer one day. Oh, what de 'eck!_ "I 'ope ya don't mind me askin' dis, but . . . When did you find out dat you were gay?"

"About a month ago," Bushroot shrugged. "I had one relationship with a woman, but it didn't last too long. I started developing romantical feelings toward other guys, but never really found anyone who suited me. That was until I met you."

"What do youse find in me?" Steelbeak asked curiously, nuzzling Bushroot with his beak and laughing quietly as he cringed from the cold metal.

"It's your charm and intrigue, Steelbeak. You're one in a million."

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned are © Disney.  



	6. What One Fears, One Destroys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Six:**  
> What One Fears, One Destroys

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Six:**  
What One Fears, One Destroys

"Do you think people will someday come to understand us?" Bushroot asked, leaning his head against a shady maple tree in the St. Canard Park. The only noise that was heard was the quiet chirping of songbirds and buzzing of cicadas.

Sitting next to Bushroot was a contemplative Steelbeak enjoying the peace and companionship. "Someday, Reggie. Someday. De problem dese days are dat people tend ta 'ate t'ings dat dey don't understand," he furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his fists, unintentionally startling Bushroot by the sudden display of anger.

"Dat's why some people 'ate me. Dey either can't or don't wanna understand me. People tend ta see me as some arrogant bastard and dat's de only side dey see. Dere's more to me den dat!"

"Of course there's more to you than that. A lot more. What one fears, one destroys," Bushroot added, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder as he calmed down from ranting. "I'm a twentieth century-first Quasimodo. No one, apart from you, and my plants, sees past my appearance and cowardly nature."

"What a match we are!" Steelbeak remarked, almost laughing. He gave Bushroot a comforting cuddle just to make him feel a little better. "I kin sorta relate to de Phantom of De Opera. We both conceal ourselves from de rest of de woild from behind a mask."

"Maybe . . . But unlike him, you're cuddly!" Bushroot smiled, affectionately nuzzling and kissing Steelbeak's neck. It was a half-hearted attempt at being seduceful, but not at all bad for someone who cowers at mere stern glares.

_ Ooooh . . . Necking! Bushie's gettin' bolder. I 'ate ta admit it, but he's kinda inexperienced about neckin'. I don't it mind of course, and actually, I really like it. The poor guy's only been out wit' one goil. He'll get better at it over time._

"Cuddly? Pfff!" Steelbeak chuckled, amused by his shy sweetheart's sudden boldness. "Ya know somet'ing, Reggie? Yer an okay guy!"

"And you're pretty okay, too!" Bushroot answered meekly, swooning into Steelbeak's arms. _I could stay here all day long. Just Steelbeak and I . __. ._

"De real name's Valentino Volatili," Steelbeak purred, nudging Bushroot tenderly with his beak. This time he didn't flinch from the feel of cold metal on his plant-like skin. "I jus' t'ought I'd let ya know another one of my secrets."

"Nice name . . . " Bushroot said in almost a whisper, delicately curling in his lap. "It suits you very well."

"T'anks. . . "

Hidden behind a bush just a few yards away was a disguised Eggmen, wearing a black body suit in place of the usual yellow outfit. He was a spy sent out by High Command who were becoming suspicious of Steelbeak's behavior lately. They had seen his interactions with Bushroot from the apartment's security camera, and were interested in what he was up to.

"It seems to me that our top agent is flirting with that lowly Reginald Bushroot!" The spy hissed into the communicator, watching Bushroot and Steelbeak's actions in the corner of his eye. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not against F.O.W.L regulations to work alongside rival villains? Especially if it's . . . In that way?"

"Indeed it is!" Snapped the right shadow of High Command. "Assisting rival villains and certainly having homosexual relations are things we definitely frown upon. Keep watch of them. Take down notes if you have to, but I want you back at our Headquarters at five o'clock sharp!"

"Yes, sir!" The spy yelped, nearly dropping the communicator as he saluted.

"Very good!" The shadow snarled back, switching off the connection.

_ No more hiding secrets from us, Steelbeak. Your days of cavorting about with your half-breed botanical lover will soon be over._

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, Steelbeak and other characters mentioned is © Disney.  



	7. A Turn of Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Seven:**  
> A Turn of Events

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Seven:**  
A Turn of Events

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The spy sneered, pulling out a handgun from his holster as he approached the two lovers nonchalantly. "Do I see a top agent of F.O.W.L breaking the rules while on his time off?"

Steelbeak turned around and gasped as he saw who was approaching. His heart pounded hard as he clutched Bushroot close to his body like a protective parent. _Oh my god . . . Dey found out. What am I to do? What am I gonna tell Bushroot?_

"What's going on?" Bushroot whimpered, cowering at the Eggman-Spy's approach. "Who is this guy?"

"Javert . . . " Steelbeak growled, backing away. "What do youse want?"

"Oh yes . . . It's me!" He hissed, pulling off his mask, revealing himself to be a white-feathered, orange-eyed mallard with a black patch of feathers over his right eye. "Well I don't know about you, but your rooster friend is going to have a talk with High Command!" The spy snarled, grabbing Steelbeak by the collar of his jacket. "You know the rules of F.O.W.L, do you? For such a much-liked veteran agent as yourself, I'm rather disappointed in you."

_ Who does he t'ink he is orderin' me around like dis?_

"What a minute! I'm in charge of youse guys!" Steelbeak snapped, managing to free himself from the spy's grasp. A well-placed punch to the bill sent the large duck wheeling back. "Tell 'Igh Command dey can kiss my fine Italian ass if dey wanna separate me from Bushroot. I don't give a damn dat my relationship wit' Bushroot is some'ow different from ev'ryone else's, or dat it's against de books!"

"Whatever you do, don't give up your career for me," Bushroot pleaded. "I mean, you were born for this job. Don't let me get in the way."

"De organization can shove it, Bushroot!" _Fer once, I don't give a damn about dem. All dat matters to me at de moment is you._

Javert, taking advantage of Steelbeak's distraction, jumped up and tackled him to the ground, with a gun to his head and a foot on his back . "You wouldn't want to disappoint your boyfriend now, would you? It would be a shame to break his heart like this. You must leave him! It's for the better good, you see?"

Bushroot gathered up all the strength and (the very little) courage he had and pounced onto Steelbeak's attacker, attempting to strangle him with his vine-like arms. "Let him go, jerk!"

_ Bushie, dis guy's insane! You don't know who yer dealin wit'!_

"NEVER!" Javert roared, throwing Bushroot off with one hard slap. "The rooster and I have some scores to be settled with High Command! You interfere, and I will kill you!"

"Pry him from my cold, dead 'ands and youse still won't get 'im!" Steelbeak snapped, shoving the spy off his back. Too angered to think straight, he shakingly picked up his handgun and shot Javert in the shoulder with speed that would rival that of a sharpshooter. It made the spy drop the gun, but it unknowingly infuriated him further._ Damn it! I meant to have shot 'im in de 'ead! Man, my aim is way off today._

"Then so be it!" Javert yelled, gripping a hand over the wound. He snatched up his handgun and aimed for Steelbeak's heart, pulling the trigger when he believed the aim was just perfect.

_ NOOOOOO!_

"Everything will be okay, everything will be okay . . . " Bushroot whispered, gently lowering Steelbeak to the ground . He knew everything was far from being okay, but it brought comfort to his distraught companion who was in a great deal of suffering.

_ I'll be fine, Reggie . . . I'll be fine._

"Shhh . . . " Bushroot whispered, cradling Steelbeak's head and stroking his feathers to further soothe him. "I love you . . . I love you . . . "

Steelbeak slowly closed his tawny eyelids, shuddered once and became still.

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, High Command, Negaduck, Fearsome Five and Steelbeak are © Disney. Javert is © Roaming Tigress.  



	8. Down, but Not Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Eight:**  
> Down, but Not Out

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

**Chapter Eight:**  
Down, but Not Out

Bushroot nervously sat in the corner of the hospital waiting room, waiting for an answer on Steelbeak's fate. _Javert will pay for this. I will make sure of that._ He depressively slouched in his chair, avoiding any sort of eye contact. The waiting room was nearly empty; beside him was a child with a teapot stuck around his wrist, and an old lady with a cast over her arm.

"Mr. Reginald Bushroot?" A grey feline nurse spoke softly, touching him on the shoulder and startling him unintentionally. "I'm sorry . . . "

_ Please, let this be a good answer. _"He . . . Died, right?"

"Just follow me . . . " She answered in a whisper, leading him down the stark, main hospital corridor.

_ This can't be good. Why didn't she answer? _Bushroot followed her, folding his hands together and praying for Steelbeak's survival. Passing security guards, crying children, strange smells and unruly patients made him feel worse. _Going to jail for five years is easier than being in this place for five minutes. _His eyes darted about nervously as he was lead around the corner of the building.

The nurse escorted him into a room marked down as A 105. At the back of the room was Steelbeak, alive, but just barely. Breathing laboriously and surrounded by machines that kept him alive, the chance of his recovery appeared slim.

"Last night he underwent a blood transfusion and a very serious operation to remove a bullet that missed his heart by an inch," the nurse informed Bushroot. "There were complications during the surgery, and there was a time when we didn't think he'd pull through. At the moment, we're not sure if he'll make a full recovery. You see, he doesn't have nostrils, and it made his breathing difficult while he was under anesthetic."

_ Steelbeak's so tough, how can this be?_ Bushroot's eyes were filled with tears as he tentatively approached the bed. The sight of his powerful friend looking so helpless now made his heart break. "Hey, Valentino . . . I'm here for you."

"Valentino?" The nurse asked quizzically, raising an eyebrow. "This must be the wrong room. You see, this is _Steelbeak_."

"His real name is V-Valentino Volatili," Bushroot stammered, sitting at the edge of the bed and stroking Steelbeak's face, breaking eye contact with the nurse. "I think he deserves something better than to be referred to as a code name."

Steelbeak stirred from his semiconscious state and smiled weakly. "I'm down, babe, but not out," he whispered hoarsely, gently taking ahold of Bushroot's hands and giving them a kiss. "T'anks fer stayin' wit' me. "

"That's the spirit, buddy . . . "Bushroot sobbed quietly, his tears nearly blinding him. "You'll pull through, I know you will!"

"Of course I'll pull t'rough!" Steelbeak exclaimed in a faint voice as he tried to sit up in bed. "No need ta get so upset over me . . . "

"Mr. Volatili, if you wish to get better, you must rest!"The nurse told him firmly, gently resting him back down. "You're still quite weak!"

Steelbeak closed his eyes and slipped back to sleep with a deep, raspy sigh. A male nurse monitored his breathing and jotted down a couple of notes on the patient's information sheet before going off to attend to someone else.

"Visitation time's up," the cat nurse told Bushroot, pointing at her watch. "We'll keep you advised on his condition."

"Thanks . . . "

Saying good-bye was the difficult part. He felt awful about leaving Steelbeak at the hospital _Jeez . . . I feel like I'm abandoning him in this hellish place. know the nurses will take good care of him, and that it would probably be in his best interests to stay here until he gets better. I hope Steelie understands that I still love him, even more now._

Bushroot gave Steelbeak a final soft kiss on his beak before walking out. "Goodbye, Val . . . "

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, High Command, Negaduck, Fearsome Five and Steelbeak are © Disney. Javert is © Roaming Tigress.  



	9. Reconcilliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Funny Friend and Me  
> by Roaming Tigress

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

Chapter Nine:  
Reconciliation

"Hey, Steelbeak . . . I heard what happened," Darkwing Duck spoke softly, sitting at the chair that was pulled up beside his bed. "I'm so sorry this happened!"

Steelbeak slowly opened his eyes and scowled, both surprised and annoyed by the mallard nemesis' presence. All he wanted was Bushroot to be with him, not this masked mallard glancing down at him. What's dis mook doin' 'ere?

"What do youse want?" He wearily demanded, rolling his eyes. "Are ya 'ere ta arrest me and to further ruin my life? I've already been t'rough enough, t'ank youse very much."

"I . . . Don't want anything!" Darkwing stammered, somewhat taken aback by Steelbeak's anger. "I'm not arresting you. Not this time. I just wanted to know how you were doing."

"Why do you care?" Steelbeak snapped. "Is it because yer too much of a do-gooder?"

"No it isn't . . . " Darkwing whispered, trying to keep everything calm. "I might disapprove of your actions with F.O.W.L, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about your welfare. When I heard on the news that you were shot, I wanted to come down and make sure you were OK."

Steelbeak had a hard time believing this. He sank his head into the pillow and let out a deep sigh. "If youse cared so much about my welfare, den why didn't youse go after Javert? Why didn't youse step in when I was nearly killed out dere at de park?"

"I did as a matter of fact," Darkwing answered rather arrogantly, folding his arms across his chest. "I caught him trying to sneak into the hospital to finish you off. He's in jail now, sharing the same cell as Negaduck. Word has it that High Command had fired that slimy spy when they found out that he tried to kill the organization's top agent. Spying is one thing. Attempted assassination is another."

Well, damn.

Steelbeak wanted revenge, and being thrown in jail wasn't quite what he had in mind for Javert. "I rather wished youse let me deal wit' 'im. If it were up ta me, I'd be sending Javert to de 'hospital emergency room ta see 'ow 'e feels! If I was up to it, I'd send 'im six feet under. Dat guy brings nothin' but trouble wit' me and I want 'im outta my life."

"Tempting, but not worth going to jail for," Darkwing said in a lively voice, attempting to cheer up the morose Steelbeak. "I have dealt with him in the past, and with the criminal past he's got, I'd say he'll be locked up for thirty years. Now that he's out of the way, you and Bushroot can - "

"Youse know about dat?" Steelbeak interrupted in a panic.

"Yes," Darkwing whispered, getting up to leave. "Bushroot told me this morning how much you mean to him. I must go now, but as I was saying before you interrupted me, now that Javert's away, you and Bushroot can enjoy each other's company without that sneak watching every move you make."

"Easier said den done, Dipwing," Steelbeak moaned, carefully sitting up. "I still gotta contend wit' Igh Command about dis. Dey . . . Disapprove of homosexual relationships between deir agents. Dey said it's because we'd get too soft and distracted, but I t'ink it's just a stupid homophobic issue dat dey 'ave. "

"That will change in due time," Darkwing replied just before he walked out of the door. "Since you're the greatest agent they've got, and while they're not too happy about it, they've forgiven you for it."

T'ank God fer dat . . .

A week and a half later following the shooting, Steelbeak was returning to his old self again. Although devoted to Bushroot, the rouge rooster proved that he was still very much of a lady's man. Flirting with the nurses (of both sexes) had become a favorite past time, and his strength - - and attitude - - were returning rapidly.

After a last examination, the moment finally arrived when he was ready to be released from the sterile environment. Never in my life 'ad I ever felt to so much freedom as I do now.

"I'm comin' 'ome, Bushroot."

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, High Command, Negaduck, Fearsome Five and Steelbeak are © Disney. That sneak is © Roaming Tigress.  



	10. Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Funny Friend and Me  
> by Roaming Tigress

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

Chapter Ten:  
Together Again

Bushroot curled up on Steelbeak's bed, anxiously awaiting for his return. He perked up at every sound from the hospital complex, hoping that it was his beau coming back. He disheartedly walked over to the window and watched the traffic of pedestrians and vehicles down below. Any day now, buddy. Darkwing told me you were getting better each day. I hope he's right.

The sound of the door opening and footsteps sent Bushroot scurrying for cover. Fearing it was Javert seeking revenge, he hid under the bed and dared not to peer out. He trembled and gulped, half-expecting the spy to lift up the bed up and shoot him just as he did with Steelbeak. A familiar smell of cologne nearly coaxed him out. English Feather! He's back! No . . . I gotta stay in hiding. Lots of upper-class villains use that cologne. Not just handsome Chief Agents . . .

Steelbeak stepped into the apartment with a sort of strutting waltz. He pulled off his white jacket, placed it on the coat hanger and flopped down on the couch. Ahhhh . . . It sure feels good ta be back! I gotta find Reggie and show 'im 'ow much better I am now.

Bushroot regained his courage and snuck out of the bedroom. He suavely leaned up against the couch and imitated Steelbeak's voice, hoping to startle him.

"How's it goin', babelicious?"

Ahh . . . Dere's my little green sweetie.

"Heyyyy Reggie . . ." Steelbeak trilled, wonderfully surprised and amused by his friend's sudden presence. "Lemme tell ya, I feel SUPOIB! De doctors said dat once I get de stitches out, I'll be back ta my ol' self soon enough. De boys at F.O.W.L gave me a extra two weeks time off fer full recovery!"

"How terrific!" Bushroot exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Steelbeak's neck in a friendly, 'welcome back' embrace.

"So, did ya flirt with any cute nurses?"

"A few," Steelbeak winked, positioning his body so that Bushroot can "accidentally" slip his hand down the collar of his shirt. "Durin' my absence, did yer heart grow fonder?"

"Ooooh maybe . . . " Bushroot replied shyly while fondling the rooster's chest, taking caution not to touch the surgical area. "I hope you aren't too mad at me for staying in here while you were gone. I - - I just didn't want anyone to break into the apartment an' steal stuff!"

"No need ta fib, Bushroot. I know why youse was 'ere fer, but hey, no worries! No damage was done, and now even 'Igh Command can't keep us separated," Steelbeak groaned contentedly, sprawling out and appearing less comfortable than he actually was. "Yeah, some of dose nurses were really cute, and dey took great care of me, but I got my real cutie patootie right 'ere!"

"You think too highly of me," Bushroot said meekly, his cheeks reddening. "Really, I'm just a cowardly, wispy little guy who talks to plants."

"Yer soitenly more den dat to me!" Steelbeak asserted, slowly stripping off his red silk shirt. Taking a deep breath, he calmed down to his usual calm demeanor. "Youse shouldn't be concerned about what ot'er people 'ave to say about you. I learned dat years ago. I wouldn't want youse any ot'er way."

"If you say so . . . " Bushroot looked away timidly, blushing even more. Slowly, his curiosity overcame shyness. He turned around and looked down at Steelbeak, cringing at the sight of the stitches and looked away again. Man, that's gotta be painful.

Damn! He looked away. Oh well, so much fer dat. Steelbeak still had a few tricks up his sleeve to get Bushroot's attention. "My body isn't dat 'orrible, is it? I must admit, I've been putting on more weight recently, and dese stitches kinda makes me look like Frankenstein or somet'ing. "

"Oh, no, Steelbeak!" Bushroot laughed, still looking away. "You look fine! It's just that - -"

"Jes' what?" Steelbeak asked, folding his arms behind his head. "Whatever ya gotta say, ya can tell ol' Steelbeak 'bout it!"

Bushroot finally turned around to look at Steelbeak again. This time that long, stitched up gash didn't appear to be as bad as it was before. He focused his eyes on his barrel chest and found himself needing to practically pick his jaw up from the ground. Wow, with a body like that, I expected him to have a six-pack paunch. His feet are a bit silly looking, but oh well . . . He's still gorgeous.

"I'd kill to have a body like that!" Bushroot blurted out, instantly becoming embarrassed at what he had just said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that!"

No, babe, I'm GLAD youse said it!

"Hey, Hakuna Matata!" Steelbeak laughed. He had found Bushroot's shyness and ease of embarrassment to be quite charming. "Trust me babe, yer a brave guy to walk around naked. As bold as I may be, I'm actually kinda modest when it comes ta showin' my body off. It's de legs, really. Dey make me look like a potato on toothpicks. Really outta proportion."

"Well I like them!" Bushroot said matter-of-factly while focusing his eyes on the rooster's thin, delicate legs that somehow were able to support his full weight. "Really, they look fine to me!"

"If yas say so," Steelbeak shrugged indifferently. "I personally t'ink de best part of my body are my shoulders. De babes like my chest de best, t'ough."

"I think they're fine!" Bushroot said in a sultry tone as he slipped a hand down Steelbeak's inner right thigh. "VERY fine! Just like the rest of you . . . "

Steelbeak grinned mischievously, subtly letting Bushroot know that he was getting turned on by the caressing. "Youse 'ave yet ta see de rest of me . . . "

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, High Command, Negaduck, Fearsome Five and Steelbeak are © Disney. "Javert" is © Roaming Tigress.  



	11. Fire of The Loins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Funny Friend and Me  
> by Roaming Tigress

My Funny Friend and Me  
by Roaming Tigress

Chapter Eleven:  
Fire of The Loins

"This is . . . This is nice!" Bushroot swooned as he felt the masculine arms of Steelbeak gently, yet sensually, wrap around his upper body. A chill ran down his spine as he felt the rooster's rugged hands slowly glided down to his waist. This strange, tingling sensation was replaced with a comforting, yet seductive warmth as the hands rested on his lap. Love knows no boundaries.

"Jus' nice?" Steelbeak looked down at Bushroot with a faked disappointment. "Surely youse could come up wit' a better description den dat!"

Not realizing that the rooster was only joking around, Bushroot once again became embarrassed. He turned away, blushing.

"W-well, It's been so long since - - " He stammered nervously, worried that his suave lover would turn nasty would be ashamed or worse, angered.

Never mind dat, Bushroot. Youse got confidence, but ya just keep coverin' it up. Much like I do wit' my own emotions.

"Shhhh . . . " Steelbeak slowly lowered his body down onto the mattress, letting Bushroot slide comfortably across his half-naked body. He winced slightly as Bushroot's head grazed his stitches, but otherwise ignored this pain. It was a mere annoyance more than anything. I can't wait to get dese stitches out, but sure as hell ain't gonna let dem get in de way of 'aving some fun!

"Finally, we're alone in peace . . . "

"Just my funny friend and me!" Bushrot smirked, ruffling the rooster's fluffy feathers and tickling him lightly.

"Yep, and I can't t'ink of a more beautiful night!" Steelbeak said in a half-chuckle, half-sigh.

"Indeed . . ." Bushroot moaned slightly as Steelbeak rubbed his inner thigh, just as he had done to the rooster earlier in the evening. Slowly, he turned over and straddled himself around his boyfriend's middle torso.

"Beautiful in more ways than one!" He spoke in a sultry tone, slithering one hand behind his back and toward the agent's boxer shorts. The other hand remained on Steelbeak's chest but moved down slowly to as he repositioned himself. Bushroot was being subtle and feigned innocence, but that would not last for long! Just wait and see what I've got in store, my friend.

Steelbeak leaned his head back and purred, feeling a swelling develop in his groin. An exhilarating surge of adrenaline charged through his body as the stroking became less-than subtle. He arched his back up as if struck by lightening, and lowered himself down as the rush faded away. Woah! Dis guy's confidence really 'as grown!

"Ahhhh . . . De fire of my loins!" He finally exclaimed, a stream of sweat rolling down his forehead. "Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul, Reginald!"

Bushroot looked down at the bulge that billowed beneath his boxer shorts. He smirked and, at least for the moment, had seemed to have lost all trace of his shyness. Ohhh . . . Look at what I did! Naughty, naughty plant-duck!

"Looks like ya got Mr. DeNiro a bit excited!" Steelbeak laughed heartedly, absent-mindedly grinning with all the innocence of a child.

There he goes again! Acting cute and innocent!

"Can't say I don't blame ya! Da chicks dig 'em more den dey dig me!"

"Mr. DeNiro?" Bushroot asked, confused. "You mean, the actor? Pff. He's not much to look at!"

"Not *dat* Mr. DeNiro!" Steelbeak snapped his fingers and pointed at his crotch. "DAT Mr. DeNiro."

"Got it!" Bushroot winked, giving it a light pat.

"I t'ought it'd be a good name fer an Italian cock!" Steelbeak winked back, slowly standing over his boyfriend on all four legs.

"Are ya ready, Bushie, or d'ya wanna save it fer anot'er night?"

An uncharacteristic devious smile spread across Bushroot's bill. He knew just what Steelbeak wanted. "Ready when you are, Mr. DeNiro!"

As the night grew longer, the smell of sex lingered in the air.

* * *

Disclaimer:  
Darkwing Duck, Bushroot, High Command, Negaduck, Fearsome Five and Steelbeak are © Disney. Javert is © Roaming Tigress.  



End file.
